Saturday 24 September 2016

My Merch Collection | Other | Clothing

Hey!

Told you that there would be another merch post! Here it is! This one is going to be shorter than my 5SOS one, don't worry about that. This post is to show you all of the other merch I have, so any clothing which isn't 5SOS related.


Okay please don't hate me for being a Justin Beiber fan! I understand he isn't everyone's cup of tea but he is mine! His song Baby used to be my guilty pleasure song. I remember when I went to see Luke Friend live and his support act sung baby and I literally died. The whole audience was singing it and it was so cute. Anyway this is a cropped t-shirt from new look which just says #BELIEBER on it and I really like it. JUDGE ME


THIS TSHIRT IS MY FAVOURITE PEICE OF CLOTHING. I LOVE IT SO MUCH! JESSARAE IS JUST A GOD SEND OF A HUMAN BEING AND I LITERALLY WANT TO WEAR THIS 24/7. I got this when Jess toured and he came to Birmigham (and I met him) and it means so much to me. He is my favourite singer at the moment and he makes me so happy, more happy then a celebrity ever has before. I just can't believe he recognised me! Also yes caps were necessary

I know this isn't what most people would class as merch but it is technically harry potter merchandise so I am including it! I really enjoy Harry Potter. I am not a big fan of it like I can't quite remember what happens in each film and I've never read the books as the words just wouldn't process in my brain but I really love it. When I saw the new Harry Potter book I started crying in the shop as I got so emotional! Also I am so excited to go to Harry Potter world one day!


GOSH DO I LOVE DAN AND PHIL. They're amazing and I love their YouTube so much. I know they don't upload much but I get so excited when they do. This is a tshirt from their old merch and I love it. I am planning on getting something from their new merch for Christmas but I really like this old school Dan and Phil style. I think its adorable.

Incase you dont know Dan is from the YouTube channel: danisnotonfire and Phil's channel is: amazingphil

Thanks for reading this post!

Love you,
Scarlett xx

Wednesday 24 August 2016

My merch collection | 5SOS | Clothing

Hey,

I have a nice sized collection of merch, I still want to expand on it but I thought I would share what I have with you guys so far. Today I am going to be showing you guys all the clothing items of merch I have. I am aware I have a lot of 5 Seconds of Summer merch. Also I am not going to write about each item.

The first item I actually couldn't take my own picture of because it is currently in the loft. So it's just a black and white beanie which has 5 Seconds of Summer wrote around it. I absolutely love this hat and to make it even better my best friend got it for me! Here is a link to it:
 http://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/EiQAAOSwo6lWGghh/s-l300.jpg


Next is this jumper (sweat top?) which I absolutely love. Honestly I don't wear it out the house but I love wearing it when I'm in my pjs or not going out anywhere (so basically all the time!). This was from Primark and my mom got it me a while ago. It is literally the most comfy thing I own! Its great to just throw on.
This t-shirt is really special to me as it was the first piece of merch I ever bought. I'm pretty sure I've had it ever since I started listening to 5SOS in 2013 but maybe I didn't buy this until 2014, I'm not certain. It is their old logo which I really like. This is so comforting to me. Not only is it the perfect bagginess which still looks good but feels amazing but it also has so much meaning behind it. Literally everything about it is perfect. I remember when I saw it in Primark and I freaked out!

At first when I saw this t-shirt I didn't like it but it began growing on me. This was actually the first time I saw the new logo so I just found it strange. But being the 5 Seconds of summer fan I am I had to buy it! Now I love it! I love how most of my 5SOS merch has grey backgrouds, idk why I just really love grey tshirts. Anyway this just has the skull but in its eyes and on the banners around the skull there is red and grey check/ tartan looking material. I really love the subtle colours. Also it's so cool how it looks like there is paint dripping down from it. Okay now I am just rambling!

Oh my is there a story behind this t-shirt. Strap yourselves in and get ready for this because I have a lot to say! It was a Friday which was the day before my 16th Birthday. My best friend (we weren't as close at the time) bought in my present to school. I opened it and saw this t-shirt and I literally screamed. No joke right there in the cafeteria I got it out and put it on over my uniform. As I was going to slfl with her I thought it would be cute to wear this. So this is the t-shirt I wore to my first ever concert.

Okay last one! I spent a very long time at the slfl merch stand trying to decide on which t-shirt I should get. I chose this one (which seemed to be the less popular one) as I liked the design better. Honestly I love this so much. I had been dreaming of having one of these type of shirts for years. Finally I have one! I love it so much! It means so much to me as it was from my first concert, the best night of my life. One of my favourite things to do when wearing it is to get people to try and find Birmingham on the back as that's the show I went to.

I hope you enjoyed this post of me rambling on about 5SOS, I do have a few other merch posts scheduled so you have that to look forward to!

Love you lots,
Scarlett xxx





Sunday 21 August 2016

2 am ramblings

Hey it's currently past 2am and I was typing an Instagram caption but I wrote too much so I decided to put a blog post up with it instead. Hope you enjoy my 2am ramblings!

Its crazy the way that life plays out. If you had only said yes to that one thing then your whole life would've been different. I have no regrets in my life. Not one, because I am so happy about the place that my life is in at the moment. This is the happiest I have been in quite possibly my whole life and that is all thanks to @jessaraemusic The best memories I have had this year all involve him. Like my very first concert, slfl Birmingham, with my best friend. Every time I saw poppy since then we would always listen to Jess and it was the best time: my favourite singer with my favourite friend. I remember how I subscribed to him when he had less than 4000 subscribers and I have just watched him grow and grow, I couldn't be more proud. On this account you hear me waffle along about Jess basically every day and you may be fed up of it but to me it's been such an amazing use of my time. I have met some of the bestest friends I've ever had through this account and jessarae so shoutout to the Monday girls group chat! I know this year is no where near over and a lot could change by the end of the year but right now I would just like to say I have made my favourite memories I've ever had this year. So far of 2016 I have made myself proud. I went through literal hell these last four years and the years before that were no where near a normal level of happiness. I have crawled out of hell on my hands and knees and I have finally reached safety. I am here to say that it does honestly get better. I was so ill for so long (and believe me I am still ill, but better than I was) that I felt physically sick whenever someone said that as I always thought they were lying. If you learn anything from this ramble then I want you to know there is always hope, there is always someone there who cares. When I was down I would make Instagram posts with captions that were honestly heartbreaking as I felt so alone. I would get random people DMing me, commenting asking if I was okay. There's always someone who cares and if you think there isn't, there is because I care, I will always care. You can pop up to me anytime and I will give you the best advice I can. I know first hand that even just talking to someone can make you feel so much better. I am going to end of this worlds longest caption by quoting dumbledore (at least I think he said it): "there is always light even in the darkest of times if you just remember to turn on the light", at least it goes something like that!

Scarlett xxx

Wednesday 17 August 2016

Online Hate

Hey,

I have been sort of lucky in that I haven't really had online hate and I have only had a couple of instances involving people being inappropriate. However even I know how badly online hate can hurt someone and I don't understand why people feel the need to be mean. They say they are "only telling the truthful" or that they "have the right to their own opinion". Both of those things are valid but they don't give you the right to hurt someone else. There is a difference between being mean and telling the truth. Sometimes the truth doesn't need to be said. You don't like their hair, so what it's their hair not yours!

If something can be changed quickly (in five minutes) then tell them. If there's food in their teeth or something stuck in their hair help them with it, don't mock them. I think sometimes we get too into our own lives that we forget about kindness.

People find it very easy to be mean online as they can't see the victim, they can't see what effect it has on them. They can be completely anonymous. But it hurts them. It hurts to be told you are not good enough, to be mocked for something you can't change. People get violent online as they feel like there are no consequences. Online hate, cyberbullying, mean comments: they all hurt. They hurt a lot. I don't know if this is correct its just something I believe but I think the reason anonymous hate hurts so much is because you don't read it in the attackers voice, you read it in your own.

Please don't be mean to people. As Selena would say "kill them with kindness"

Scarlett x

Wednesday 10 August 2016

Things happen

Things happen in life that you could never imagine
 You go places you never thought you would go
 You meet people you would never have met before
 You make memories

 Life is strange thing
 You never know what will come your way
 You can never truly decide what you want to do
 Or know what will happen tomorrow

 So take chances
 Live life as if every day is your last
 Because suddenly,
 Everything could change
 And you'll never have a chance to do it again

 Kiss the girl
 tell your friends you love them
 Take a chance
 Do you thing you've always been afraid to do
Paint outside the lines
 Think outside the box
 Be yourself

 Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it
 Prove them wrong
 And do it

 There will come a time in your life
 A time when you can't do these things
 Don't live with regrets
 Make every day the best day

 Things happen in life that you are never imagine
 Good things
 Bad things
 Life changing things

 So get out of bed and tell yourself one thing
 That you can do it
 Even if every single bone in your body is telling you you can't
 Even if every single person you meet doesn't believe in you
 You can do it
 Make yourself proud
 Pushed the bad thoughts aside
 And bring forward the good
 If you believe in yourself that's the first step

 So  run like it's your last chance
 Dance like no one is watching
 Shout from the rooftops
 And follow your dreams

 Make today a good day
 Even if it's just a simple thing
 Like getting out of bed
 Push yourself
 And I believe you can do it

 Things happen in life that you will never imagine

Wednesday 3 August 2016

Rambling about Jessarae | July favorites

Hey,

I can't believe that July is already over! Like where has the year gone! Usually I don't do favorites because I forget they exist but this month I remembered! I even wrote down my favorites throughout the month, look at me being all organised!


I don't know how you are meant to do favorites on a blog so sorry if this is bad

Food and drink
http://assets.kraftfoods.com/recipe_
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-Wrap-3015_640x428.jpg

Wraps: I have literally lived of wraps this past month, I have had a wrap virtually every single day for lunch and I have no shame in that because they're so nice and actually quite healthy compared to other options. Inside the tortilla wrap I put: Ham (sometimes chicken), Cheese (grated), Salad and cucumber

Water: As boring as it seems water is my favorite drink of this month. I have such a thrilling life omg! It's been too warm and I don't like drinking fizzy pop often so it's the only thing I have to drink in the summer!

Beauty

Feathers: Yes this is a beauty favourite... give me a minute to explain! I got these feathers which hung down from hair clips and they're so cool, I absolutely love them. I've only worn them a few times and people always give me a weird look for it but I think they're amazing! Plus it's summer so I feel like you can get away with stuff like this! They were really cheap aswell, I got them in a 5 for £5 at Claire's which meant they were £1 and they came with 2 clips aswell!

MUA lipstick: I've got to admit that I only own MUA lipsticks. They're really good, last a decent amount of time and are only £1!!! I currently own 4 in the shades: fawn fancy, lilac belle, shade 11 and shade 1, however I am planning to purchase some more in the future. My favorite is fawn fancy it's a really nice browny nude. The great thing is that you can buy colours you wouldn't usually as they're so cheap. 

Music

Jessarae: I honestly cannot put into words how much Jess means to me. His music has helped me through so much and he has saved my life. Every single one of his covers or original songs are perfect. His EP is incredible. He is such an amazing human being! I 100% recomend you listen to some of his music! He is so talented and his EP nobody's human means so much to do many people.

5 seconds of summer, girls talk boys: OH MY GIDDY GOSH, WHAT A TUNE! I played girls talk boys on repeat from the moment I got up until I went to bed for a solid 5 days! I absolutely love it! It is so good! I cannot understand how it is so good!!!

Film/ TV

I don't have a film favorite as I haven't watched a film for months. I don't even know if I've watched a film at all this year. On the other hand I do have a couple of TV favorites to share with you:

http://theselfhelphipster.com/wp-
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RuPaul's Drag Race (and anything related to it!): This is more like a yearly favorite than just a monthly favorite but particularly this month when I have had time to watch TV programs I have became obsessed with Ru and the other queens. I love it so much! I have even began speaking like the drag queens and I watch all their periscopes, I honestly think I've got a bit of a problem! It is basically a competition where drag queens compete to find America's Next Drag Superstar. It is hosted by the most famous drag queen, my idol, RuPaul Andre Charles. Each week the queens do a challenge and the person who is the worst is eliminated a.k.a told to sashay away. I will be talking more about this on another post!

American Horror story: since I've finished school I've managed to go through 3 seasons of American horror story and I have absolutely loved it! I've watched all the ones on Netflix so I need to find a way to watch the other seasons. I don't think this is particularly scary, Murder House is probably the scariest season but even then it's not that bad. It's more gory, well it's VERY gory. I love it though, I love horror films so this is so great for me!

Celebrity

This month my favorite celebrity is Jessarae. He's not extremely popular but he did support for 5 Seconds of summer in SLFL. He is an incredibly talented singer who is such a genuinely nice person. I didn't know until today but he is actually related to Steven R McQueen a.k.a Jeremy from the Vampire Diaries. I really suggest that you listen to his music. He has an EP released called Nobody's human which is so amazing! Jesse is 21 (birthday is June 5th 1995) and I think is originally from California but now lives in London. Oh yeah his real name is Jesse Robitaille by the way, even though I know most people just call him Jess. I know that his dad Luc has something to do with Hockey, his brother is an actor and I think his step dad is famous as well so he has a very famous, and talented, family. Jess plays a type of acoustic rock and honestly I feel like anyone could enjoy his music. I am pretty sure he started his music career at 16 after persuing his life long dream of being a singer. So that's the best I can sum him up! Just please go listen to him!


Experience

Meeting Jessarae: I warned you in the title that I would be talking about Jessarae a lot! I was not lying. On the 19th July 2016 I had meet and greet tickets to see Jessarae. This video is the only video which was short enough and small enough in MB to upload so you will just have to listen to my awful singing. We queued up to meet him and he was so nice. We had such a great conversation and he even recognized me from some pictures I had tagged him in. He told me about his tour with 5SOS and he said that my drawings were really cool! He hugged me and laughed at jokes I said and just made m feel so happy. It was insane how kind he was! I love Jess so much, he is the sweetest person ever! He recently followed me on twitter and tweeted about me. In the past he has liked loads of my tweets and all the way back in April he replied to my snapchat message! He is literally amazing and I can't put into words what he means to me.

Thanks for reading.

Love,
Scarlett xxx

Tuesday 26 July 2016

Dying my hair and my inspiration | Q & A

Hey guys!

Today I fancied doing a Q&A so I found some questions and I'm going to answer them for you!

1. Who is your celebrity crush?

I actually have many celebrity crushes. I have a lot of female crushes. When I say a lot, I mean a lot: zoella, cara delivigne, Taylor swift, Melanie Martinez, Lilly Singh, Grace Helvig and Selena Gomez. I told you that there was a lot! Male: RuPaul (or does he count as both as I love him both in and out of drag!), Ed Sheeran, all the members of 5SOS (especially Calum) and Jessarae!

2. What makeup product could you not live without?

I feel like concealer because you can cover any bad spots or redness which may make you feel self conscious and stuff. Like I have been out many times before with just concealer on.

3. Who is your inspiration?

My inspiration is actually a youtuber called Lilly Singh aka iisuperwomanii, you proborbly know who she is! For a very long time lilly was the only person who could make me smile. The way she thinks, her positivity, everything about her is just something I find so inspiring. She is a surviver of depression which really shows that you can get through it. Lilly really means something to me on a personal level that I find so hard to explain. She is not only so beautiful on the outside but she is extremely beautiful on the inside. I discovered her not long before I got told I was depressed and she was the first person who had made me smile in a while. She always relaxes me when I'm nervous and for the length of her video I can forget my problems.

4. Favourite show to binge watch on Netflix

This used to be pretty little liars and I would watch it so much that the little message would come up saying are you sure you want to continue watching where Netflix was like judging you. However ever since I finished that I have been binge watching RuPauls drag race. However now I've finished that aswell so I am watching videos related to it and everything. So I would have to say that Rupauls drag race is definately my favourite show to binge watch.

5. Favourite clothes shop?

100% primark because it's so affordable! I do also love new look which I feel like not many people talk about. I like primark prices but the clothes they have in new look!

6. What hair colour would you like to be?

I would like to have pastel pink hair but I'm not sure that it would suit me as I'm as pale as pale can be and naturally I have darkish brown hair. Preferably dip dye but my hair is too short for dip dye at the moment. I would also like to have maroon or burgundy hair which ombre's from a darker colour at the roots to a lighter colour at the bottom. I feel like that would suit me quite well as its still sort of dark and it looks good with your hair curly. My hair is naturally wavy so sometimes its hard to find a hair colour to suit me. As for a natural colour I would quite like to go a darker brown at some point. Not black but darker than my natural hair which is sort of milk chocolate brown colour.

7. Favourite bands?

Of course my favourite band is 5 seconds of summer, I've been a fan of them since 2013 and I love them so incredibly much! Every single one of their songs are amazing and all of the members are great, even though my personal FAVE is Calum Hood. Other bands I love are: Panic! At the disco, One direction (do they count?), go radio and twenty one pilots. Let's just say I have a very wide range of music taste

8. Who are your all time favourite singers?

ED SHEERAN ALL THE WAY! I am such a SHEERIO it is insane! I love Ed so much and I honestly think I would still love him just the same even if he did wrong. Ed's music hits me on such a personal level and it is one of the only things in the world which can make me cry (I literally never cry). I used to listen to Ed's music and get so into it that I would cry, and end up doing no work! Other singers I love so much are: Taylor Swift and Jessarae

9. What female youtuber would you like to be for a day?

In case you can't already guess, I would definitely have to be iisuperwomanii as I would just like to see what it's like for her in her daily life. I would also love to be Grace Helbig as she is so halerious!

10. What about male youtuber?

I actually quite struggled with this one as I don't watch many male youtubers. However I have racked my brain and realised that I can be Willam Belli for a day. Willam is a drag queen who was on season 4 of RuPaul's drag race. He was the only queen to get disqualified due to him breaking the rules. Willam posts videos on his YouTube channels including parodies of songs and a series called Paint me bitch where he gets people to give him a makeover. Damn would I love to have his/her confidence and it would be so much fun to be able to get in drag! Willam has a sense of humour that I feel like some people may find a bit offensive but he is so funny! He has also been in quite a lot of films including Sex and the city. I honestly think Willam would've won if she didn't break the rules as she is so talented.

11. If you could visit anywhere in the world where would you like to visit?

I don't know why but I've always wanted to go to New Zealand but it's really far so I most likely will never go there which is sad. However I would also like to go to Rome as I love all the culture and I would like to go to Amsterdam, maybe or maybe not because of TFIOS, as it's so pretty! I absolutely love pretty places and I want to visit them as Birmingham (where I live) is so ugly! On top of that Japan would just be so cool!

12. How do you deal with your anxiety and panic attacks?

As bad as it sounds, I avoid situations. I stay in the house, I don't travel alone, I make sure not to speak to people I don't know. I used to hide in the toilets so that I could get out of doing things I didn't feel comfortable doing at school. I really don't recommend doing this. You need to push yourself out of your comfort zones in order to get better. Personally though, I haven't managed to do that yet.

13. What is your favourite makeup brand?

Considering I am cheap af I would have to say that MUA and collection is my favourite brand! Like I love the concealer and powder from collection. From MUA I love their eyeshadows, highlighters and lipsticks. You don't need to spend loads of money to get the job done!

14. If you could be any celebrity for a day who would you be?

I would be Taylor Swift when she is on tour as it would be so amazing to experience that. Also not going to lie, she is so beautiful! Her talent and her looks are amazing, it would be so great to be in her shoes for a day!

15. Can you sing?

hahahahahaha NO. I am literally the most terrible singer in the world and it makes me so sad!

16. Have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend? 

Yeah, I have actually had both. I had a boyfriend in 2014, we got together on the 6th September and I ended the relationship as my anxiety got to my head too much. We are still good friends now and he has been with his current girlfriend for a year and a half. I couldn't be more happy for him. I had a girlfriend not long ago, which I also ended because again my mental health was too bad.

17. Biggest regret?

My biggest regret is that I let my anxiety get the best of me and stop me from doing the things I wanted to do. It's that I feel like I haven't lived my life to the full. It's that I didn't put myself out there more. I regret faking being okay, I regret not telling anyone that I wanted to commit suicide or getting help. I regret not getting a good relationship with my family. I have a lot of regrets but the things I didn't do have made me the person I am today. They have made me realize that I should try my hardest to live my life to the fullest.

18. Biggest success?

Plain and simple, my biggest success is being alive today. I have tried to end my life so much, I have been hopeless, I have given up and pushed those closest to me away. However somehow I managed to continue fighting. I survived all the suicide attempts because I wasn't ready to die. For the first time in a while I am thankful to be alive. I have someone close to me who I can trust with anything. I made my first promise in two years. I am proud of myself. I am not better. I am still extremely ill but for the first time in a while I am seeing the world in colour.

19. Do you prefer pizza or burgers?

PIZZAAAAA! I absolutely love pizza, my favourite is Hawaiian (ham and pineapple) which most people find so odd.

20. Dream wedding and dress?

YES I AM 16 AND I ALREADY KNOW THIS EVENTHOUGH I DON'T HAVE A PARTNER. Okay my dream wedding is in a church in the spring when there's blossom on the trees. I want there to be a lot of flowers there. My dream dress would have a little train, would most likely have sleeves incase my eczema is bad. It would be full length and I want it to have some lace on. I want it to have an open back and something flattering on the chest area. I want my hair up in one of those fancy buns with little flowers in and a veil.

Thanks for reading my Q & A,

Love you lots,

Scarlett xxx


Picture links: https://yt3.ggpht.com/-dDvEj5lMd9c/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/EULm0R9mEtk/s900-c-k-no-rj-c0xffffff/photo.jpg   http://www.readunwritten.com/wp-content/uploads/large5-1-300x258.jpg  http://31.media.tumblr.com/1fa834579941bc1b21411870b89e4e9a/tumblr_mt30ibOhdp1rdutw3o1_400.gif http://www.hercampus.com/sites/default/files/2015/11/30/taylor-swift-sparkly-tour-outfit-1989-main.jpg

Wednesday 20 July 2016

Talking about my Mental Health / Don't diagnose yourself

Hey,

As you will know if you have read some of my past posts I really struggle with my mental health. I'm not sure when but sometime last month I got told I had depression. However ever since I got told it I just didn't think it was right. At first I thought that I just didn't want to believe it was true as it's hard to be told that you're depressed. I knew that there was something wrong with me in my emotions but I also knew it wasn't depression. I've looked up what I am feeling and I'm going to be visiting the doctor next week to see if what I think is true is true. I think I may be bipolar.

In no way am I saying I have bipolar disorder as I do not know that until I go to the doctors. I am making this post to say how important it is to be aware of how you feel.

This post is also to say how important it is that you do not diagnose yourself. If you think you have anxiety, depression or anything 'wrong' (you're perfect anyway) with you please talk to a professional. I did it through school as my school got in a therapist for me who diagnosed me. If you are afraid to talk to the doctor then write what you feel down and go someone you trust and see if they have any advice. You just have to be brave and put yourself first. Don't give a fuck what people think of you for once in your life and do something which will benefit YOU. This may be hard especially if, like me, you have anxiety. However you don't want it to get to the point where you cannot cope anymore and you will do anything to end it. Please get help before then. I don't want to see any of you be in the place I have been in where ambulances are phoned on me and I am threatened to be detained in hospital for my safety. As soon as you know something is up talk to someone, even if it turns up to be nothing it's better safe then sorry. Just like physical illnesses, mental illnesses can be treated better in the early stages.

If you need someone to talk to you can always talk to me. My Instagram DMs are always open for anyone to message: @scarlett_allthelittlethings

Love you,
Scarlett x

Saturday 16 July 2016

Happiness

Hey,

What is happiness? Happiness is the best thing to have in the world. It makes everything seem okay. Even when you are suffering you can still cling onto that hope of happiness. Happiness is that feeling when everything seems okay. It's when you catch yourself smiling at nothing and it's what you get like when watching your favorite film. Happiness is laughter and smiling but it's also long chats with your best friend.

Whatever you find happiness don't let anyone take that away from you. Pride yourself on it. So what if you feel happy playing chess, then go play chess. You get happiness from reading, then read! Do whatever you need in life to find happiness. A life lived to the full wasn't one where you spent all your time working and pretending to like things to fit in. A life lived to the full is a life where you can look at yourself in the mirror and know that you are truly happy.

Happiness is not in objects, its in yourself. If you feel happy after using makeup its because it has bought out the happiness from within you.

For me happiness is spending time with my friends. Its dancing like no one is watching. It's singing my heart out even if I am tone death. It's binging my favourite TV shows. It's imagining an idea in my head and then making that idea a reality. It's finishing a drawing I am proud of. It's listening to my favourite music. I am going to hang onto every bit of happiness I can find. I won't let my depression get the best of me and I am going to try to find happiness in every day.

Don't let anyone take away your happiness and don't take away anyone else's happiness. You tell someone they can't listen to a certain band when it may actually be the one thing that keeps them on this Earth.

Stay strong and you can still smile, no matter how deep into illness you are.

Love,
Scarlett xxx


Saturday 9 July 2016

What I miss about school

Hey,

Isn't it crazy thinking I've spent the last 13 years in school from the age of 3 until the age of 16 and not its all just suddenly over. I am never going to study in a school again. I am going to a college so at least I'll still be in education, but I know it wont be the same.

To be blatantly honest, I miss school. I miss the safety of it, I miss the routine and I miss knowing everyone. I miss the teachers I had made a good relationship with and I miss hating those who weren't all that nice. By the end of year 11 though all the teachers become really nice. They are so supportive and just want you to enjoy your last days at school. They will help you so much with exam preparation and when they see you after your exams they seem so immensely proud.

I went to a good school. Not good in the eyes of the government, I mean we failed ofstead, but compared to what I hear about other schools, ours is great. Our teachers are so creative in the ways they teach, they're so interesting and caring. My maths teacher for example would sit with me for ages helping me to get the gist of it. I was in top set so I was the only one most of the time who ever needed help but again and again he would ask me if I needed help and never think I was stupid. I'm glad my teachers knew about my mental illnesses as it meant they would know why I wouldn't write a thing, or keep my head down the whole lesson, or need to leave multiple times. They got me. Our teachers seemed insane at times. They would dance, they would swear and they would tell us the most unappropriate for school stories. But we needed that. We were 15-16year olds, some of us were old enough to have a child so they treated us like adults. I miss it like hell. I became dependent on those teachers. My history teacher, he knew that I would sit there with my head down all lesson. My English teacher, she knew that I lacked all faith in myself and she would tell me time and time again that she believed in me. My pastoral manager knew that I could never tell her how I felt so she got me to write it down or she just told me that she would be there for me. It finally became a time when people knew what I was like. Now I've got to do it ALL again.
http://www.searchquotes.com/sof/images/picture_quotes/31525_20130329_140333_appreciation_02.jpg
So I am going to list a few things which I will miss. Some of these things may still happen at college but I wanted to write this post now!

  1. We had a 5 minute grace time which we had to get between lessons which was sort of stupid because one side of the school to the other takes like 4 minutes WITHOUT any people in the way! So imagine that but with everyone there. It was like a challenge that we had to do. Somehow though we would always decide it would be best to spend most of that time gossiping and then we would run to lesson. I'm going to miss that! It was always fun and I was always successful!
  2. PE. Yes I did just say that! My PE teacher had literally no expectations on me at all. She used to allow me to sit away from the class on my own all lesson as she knew about my problems. In college all my lessons I'll have to actually try in. But PE we didn't get a GCSE from and I never had to do anything, so it was great for me as I could just chill!
  3. Movie/ party days. This didn't really happen much in year 11 but in all the other years every single time before we had a holiday we would just spend the lessons watching films, having a class party or just talking and eating food. We wont have that in college!
  4. I will miss my friends. I only have one friend out of school and all of the rest of my friends went to my school. Its going to be sad going to college in September and not having all my friends there
Have you guys left school? If so what do you miss? If not then enjoy it whilst it lasts. Treasure it. Don't always stick to the rules (but don't be too bad you get into serious trouble). Have fun! Don't take it too serious (unless you're in year 11!)

Love,
Scarlett xxx


Tuesday 5 July 2016

Leavers assembly

Hey,

My school, being the weird ass school it is, holds a leavers assembly every year. This assembly is always after all of the exams are finished and when the year 11s have completely finished school. This may not seem weird but damn, its weird! Everyone goes in fancy dress, including the host and its so strange as its 9o'clock in the morning and everyone is dressed up. The assembly is filled with embarrassing photos and videos aswell as the host cracking a terribly bad joke every second.

We had awards dedicated to the best butt, a student stripper who ran down the hall with everything hanging out and a slut dropping teacher!

Me and three of my friends dressed as 5 seconds of summer in their music video Don't stop. I was Calum Hood aka Calpal so I got to wear the sexy colour of green and yellow! Gosh walking home was so embarrassing! Cars kept honking at us!

So this was on the 28th July, the day I officially left school!

Love,
Scarlett xxx

P.S. I'm really sorry for the bad quality of writing and sentence structure in this post, I really wanted to write but its turned out so shit! I'm a bit rusty, it's late and I'm not in a good mindset!


Friday 1 July 2016

PROM

Hey my beautiful people (yes I'm talking to you!)

On Friday 24th July was my prom. At my school (and most school's in England) we only ever get one prom and that's at the end of year 11 after all of our exams are over. Also in England you don't get 'asked' to prom you can just go with whoever you want, some people even arrive on their own.

I went with my best friend (who is at least 5"7 and I'm just about 5") and we went in a fancy car which I think was a Mercedes.

Prom is meant to be the night when you feel like a princess but I honestly hated everything about the way I looked. I liked my dress but that was about it. I looked horrible in all the photos and I didn't really allow myself to enjoy it until about an hour before the end.

We could arrive between 7 and 8 but the actual party lasted from 8 until midnight. Prom was amazing and I would recommend you to go as once you allow yourself to unwind you will have fun.

I bought my dress from House of Frazer and it was around £60 in the sale. It was a midnight blue but in the photo it looks quite a lot brighter than it did in real life.
My dress
I did everything myself: my hair, my makeup and my nails. I would recommend you to get someone to do something but I managed alright on my own (apart from the stress). The reason I hated my look so much was my hair as I had it half up and half down as to be able to see the dress but it just didn't look that nice to be honest.

My advice is to plan and TEST everything in advance. You don't want to be rushing out to the shops the morning of prom like I did! I made a schedule of each timing when I needed to start and damn I thought I had gave myself too much time but I didn't even have enough time to take a selfie. So make sure you start at least half an hour before you were planning to. That half an hour really won't make much difference to the lasting time of your hair/ makeup.

Love,
Scarlett xxx

Thursday 30 June 2016

Something I need to tell you...

It's the last day of June and before the end of the month I need to tell you guys something.

As this is the month of pride I wanted to tell you before this month ends. I am not particularly proud of my sexuality and in some ways I am sort of ashamed, but it is what it is and I want to tell you
that...
I am asexual.

I am not sure if I am just heteromantic (meaning I like people of opposite genders) or if I am biromantic (like people of both genders) but I know for sure I am asexual.

Being asexual does not mean that I don't date or that I don't want a relationship it means that I don't want sex. The thought of me having sex makes me feel physically sick. I am not sexually attracted to people. Genitalia freak me out! That's not just me being immature, I am 16 years old and I have been through so much. I know this is my sexuality and I feel like a freak for it.

I feel like I am broken and strange. They say a humans basic desire is to have sex yet I hate the idea of it. I want to die a virgin yet I feel like society will pressure me into having sex one day. Sex is seen as such a fashionable thing, it is in literally every TV show, so many films, we are taught about it at school. I am at an age where I can legally have sex. There are people I know who have already lost their virginity, imagine how that feels to me.

The world has progressed so much since the when I was born in 2000. In 2001 Same-sex marriage was legalized for the first time ever in the Netherlands.
If you look at the map the purple countries are the countries where same sex marriage is legal. It may have changed by now.

We have come such a long way as 15 years ago there was no countries where it was legal. However we still have such a long way to go.

I am so proud that I get to grow up in a generation where it is okay to be LGBTQ. More people can come out as gay as it is legally allowed, before you broke the law for being gay and you could be killed for it.

We cant stop here though, we still have such a long way to go. Light needs to be shone on the sexuality which are not known of. For a long time I didn't know why I was different, I didn't know of asexuality so I thought that I was just weird. The term LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) is widely used but what about the other sexuality. I thought the term LGBTQIA included everyone but I think the correct umbrella of sexuality terms is LQBTQIAPD. Yes that may seem like a lot but we need to respective of this as people class themselves as this and I think we need to know this. Honestly before I did some research before this I didn't know of anything other then LGBTQ+

The fact is me being asexual doesn't mean I don't love. Asexual love is love too. After all the horrible things which have happened to the LGBTQ+ community I think people need to be more educated on different sexualities. The people who attack and discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community think that we have done something wrong by our sexualities, but we don't chose our sexualities and at the end of the day love is love. We aren't hurting anyone and if anyone is sinning it's those who discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community as is most (if not all) religious discrimination is seen as wrong. You should not use your religion as an excuse. To take Christianity for example, they teach that it is wrong for a man to sleep with another man as it cannot lead to pregnancy. God has made us how we are and he loves everyone, God loves us whether we are gay, bisexual or heterosexual. God has put us on this planet because he thinks we are worthy enough. He wants us to live our lives in a good way, by being homophobic, for example, you are living your life wrong. He has put challenges on the Earth to allow you to become a better person. There are many religious people who are ally's of LGBT+ or who are a member of the LGBTQ+ community themselves. I am not saying you should go against your religion, I am just saying that you don't have to be homophobic, you can still be non judgemental and still love those who your religion may go against.

I'm sorry that this turned into a sort of rant thing, I just had so much I had been holding inside of me that I needed to get out. I didn't mean for any of this to sound rude or mean, I am completely supportive of everyone's views as long as they aren't hurting anyone else.

Please tell me your opinion as I would love to know what others think.

Also yes I am asexual and after writing this post I have become slightly more proud of myself

Love,
Scarlett x


Monday 27 June 2016

Finishing my GCSEs

IM FINALLY BACK!!!

Two years of studying for GCSEs are done. The constant work, the lack of free time, the Procrastionation that allowed me to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in 30 minutes is finally over!

I'm free!

I'm writing this today as I am 5 days into my summer holidays. I am so glad I never have to go back. Yes I will miss school, for the most part of 4 years I actually liked the place. It was only the last year and the times when my depression was really bad that I hated it. I never missed a day of school. For those whole 5 years I went in every single day. No matter how ill I was, mentally or physically, I went in which I guess is the crappy part of anxiety (not all of its bad). I needed that time of because it got to the point where I would leave every single lesson in a day and go to the toilets and cry. It was hard but I'm proud to say that I came out the other end. I did it.

So I am back here on my blog after however long it has been and I can honestly say that I have missed this so much. I have missed writing whatever is on my mind and putting it out there for the whole world to see. Yes not that many people see it but the fact is I'm not afraid for light to be shone on people's problems.

I hated every minute of doing my GCSEs, I hated the dissapointment it bought upon myself and I hated how I had to put working before my health, even though I was extremely ill. Teachers always tell you these stories of people who have pushed themselves too far and have worn themselves dry or got ill, I never believed it, not until it happened to me.

After I have been through this myself all I have to say is you don't have to work every minute of every day. You don't have to feel guilty to have an hour of, a day of, you deserve it once in a while. Just don't give that as an excuse for all the time. You do need to work, but no more than 6 hours overall in a day, even that may be too much for some people. Don't do what I did and not rest until I had done 8 hours because you will get to the point where, like me, you can't even stand up anymore. All you need to do is try your best with the preparation you have done. Don't regret anything that has happened to you in the past. If you believe in something than you can achieve it, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

As for now all I have to say is the bitter sweet summer holidays have started early for us in year 11. For the first time in years we literally have nothing to do. But I'm not going to waste it. I want to draw, to paint, I want to meet up with my friends every single week and I want to make stupid videos. I want to make memories and take photos and I want to remember all the times I was happy, not the times I was sad.

Thanks for sticking with me through the tough times

Love,
Scarlett x

Saturday 14 May 2016

How can I forget

Forgive and forget right?
That's what they always say.
But how can I forget the way you made an ocean cascade down my cheeks and the way you pushed a dagger right through my heart.
How can I forget the hurt you caused me time and time again.
I can't forget the confusion I felt. And how you told me I was stupid. I had never felt so dumb in my life.
And the worst thing of all was, I loved you...
I didn't love you like how friends love each other. It was different. When I thought of my future I thought of it with you. And only you.
Was I stupid or were you the only person I had ever met who I could be truly myself with.
The way you made me cry that day I thought the tears would never stop falling.

Saturday 7 May 2016

20 questions about me

Heyyyy!

Welcome to the vanity post! I'm just joking, I just fancied doing this post for you guys.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/301389400038071181/
1. I am 5" exactly. I like to say that I am 5"1 to make me feel better about myself but nope I am 5" and I am a midget!

2. At the moment I am really loving pale pink, like a baby/ pastel pink colour. According to this picture it is just classed as pink. Clothing wise I like to wear grey and black aswell as that pink colour. Oh and also I've been really into blue.
3. My favorite school subject would have to be History I think. It is the subject I hate the least. I don't particularly enjoy any of my subjects though due to the stress. If I take out the stress of it then I would say that art or maths might be my favorite. But History is my all round favorite.
4. I would quite like to either learn an instrument or a language. I was thinking about learning guitar or piano. For a language I might just continue learning Spanish as I have been studying it for the last 7 years (and I still can't understand it!)

5. Oh I'm obsessed with quotes. I don't have a favorite quote but I do really like something simple like "it will be okay". No wait my favorite quote is definitely "if you cant love yourself, how the hell you going to love yourself" by RuPaul
6. I do really like bacon... and cheese... and bacon and cheese together.

7. Does my bed count?

8. Of course not! Okay I'm pretty sure everyone uses sarcasm, it's funny! 

9. Right at this moment I am listening to the lovely Selena Gomez- Kill them with kindness

10, My shoe size is 3... I KNOW I'M A MIDGET!

11. Blueeeee

12. Chocolate Brown (with orangey-red ends)

13. Jeans, I love skirts but unless I am wearing tights I wont wear one

14. Big Hero 6. I just love Baymax so much!

15. My favorite song is Lego House by Ed Sheeran

16. I think my favorite book is Paper towns by John Green. 

17. five seconds of summer (5SOS)

18. Any holiday where I get away from school!

19. I probably should've picked a different set of questions!

20. (finally the last question!) I am currently reading Night circus, I am not sure of the author of it though. It's really good!

Saturday 30 April 2016

Tell me what's wrong - A poem

Tell me what's wrong, she said with a devilish look on her face.
When she let out a tremendous sigh, you could tell she didn't care.
She glanced at the clock with every word you spoke.
Only a few minutes later she's rushing you out the door.

Saturday 23 April 2016

Why I sleep with stuffed animals

Hi,

A feeling of safety has been lacked from my life. Not only do I have anxiety but I don't have a family who supports me. Even when my parents know a portion of what's wrong I still don't feel able to go to them when I'm upset. I don't feel comfortable confiding in them.

The strongest of people can only be so strong. They can only hold a certain amount of feelings up inside of them until they burst and let it all out. Comfort is needed in that time. There will not always be people there to hold you when you're down and as stupid as it sounds teddy bears do that for me. They give me the support I need without having to actually talk through my feelings. Unlike humans they will always be there.

https://marycoxpace.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/hug-teddy.jpg
This is really personal subject to speak about but I feel like we shouldn't be afraid to speak of these things. I do have depression and anxiety aswell as eczema which means I have horrible thoughts about myself, about my actions or things that will happen all the time. I have the overwhelming sence of sadness and guilt. That's hard to cope with. When it gets into the night and you're tired the thoughts you have been pushing away all day come flooding back. They strike. Like a dagger right through your heart. It hurts. It physically hurts. I would scream but I am scared of judgement. So I take the only thing to support me that I can. Teddy bears. As sad as this sounds I speak through my problems with them. I talk out my day. What I did good and what I did bad. I do it every single night. I face the wall. With my unicorn teddy against my back so that I know I'm safe and I know I'm not alone. If I can't feel her alone my back I worry and I feel so uncomfortable. I take one of my smaller teddies and hold them in my hand like a stress ball. Then I go through my day in my head. Sometimes I pretend that they are telling me about there day so I do actually end up talking through my problems. When I'm having panic attacks I pretend it's not me having one its them. And I speak them through it. I know this makes me sound like I'm crazy but I'm not like normal teenagers. I'm autistic.

Scarlett x

Saturday 16 April 2016

I'm proud of myself

Hey everyone,

Today is Wednesday 13th April 2016 and for the first time if not forever, then in a long time I can say this. I am proud of myself. I am proud that I have managed to still be standing here today and keep enough hope to have survived. I am proud of everything I have accomplished. I am proud of the grades I have got in my most recent mock exams. I am proud for trying my best and for proving myself wrong.

I am proud of the person I have become and the way I have matured. I love seeing how my friends have blossomed into amazing people who will achieve amazing things. I am proud that people have belief in me that I will achieve the grades I want and do the things I want in life. I am proud to smile and to dance. Somehow I am even proud to sing (my singing voice is shocking it's so bad!). I am proud of myself.

Scarlett x

Thursday 7 April 2016

Spring Style - Casual - Collab with Bella

Hey,

Me and the lovely Bella have been wanting to collab for ages. We are both really into fashion and have been wanting to do a post on something to do with style for ages. As its the start of spring we decided that we would do our spring style where we show you outfits that we would wear in spring. Oh and by the way I had to stand my phone on my toilet to take these pictures! (don't worry the lid was closed and I cleaned my phone after) I hope you enjoy the 6 different looks we have put together.


Casual look number one: Biker chic

This look is a go to style which is really comfy but still looks good. I have paired some skinny blue jeans with a cropped t-shirt, a leather jacket and some black pumps. As it is spring I have added layering into this outfit because you never know when it's going to get cold or begin to rain.

Items I wore:
  • Skinny Blue jeans from the Petite range in new look
  • A cropped bandana style t-shirt from the teenage range in new look.
  • A leather jacket which I think is from primark but you can find Leather jackets almost anywhere.
  • Some cheap black pumps from primark which look and feel exactly like converse but are one tenth of the price!
  • Last of all I am wearing some adorable zebra socks from New look!


Casual look number two: girly twist

I am currently obsessed with this black checked shirt so I just had to include it in one of the looks. For this look I added a bit of pastel pink because it just screams spring.

As I'm not confident in my legs and its still quite cold I am wearing tights in this look but that's obviously your own personal preference. Also I love slogan t-shirts and this one just makes me laugh so I've added it for a bit of fun.
 You can also do the shirt up if you want. I don't like the shirt buttoned up with this look just because of the colours but I think that it would look quite cute with a different coloured skirt and shirt. I've done a picture with the shirt done up that just to give you an idea of what it would look like if you did it. The skirt is also really thick so its good for the cold weather (and its adorable!)

Items which I am wearing:


  • No Drama t-shirt from Primark
  • Black and white checked shirt from primark
  • Black tights (I'm not sure where they're from but you can get them anywhere)
  • Pale pink skirt from River Island
  • Pink converse which you can get from anywhere that sells converse



Go over to Bella's blog to see her Casual Spring outfit choices: http://belliary.blogspot.co.uk/

Thankyou for reading this post, the next spring style will be posted within a week

Love, Scarlett x

Wednesday 6 April 2016

Ways to reach your goals

Hellooooooooooo,

Everyone has their goals which they want to reach during their life. Some are short term and some are long term. To reach these goals you have to be dedicated and stick through the boring tough work. No one is going to tell you it's easy because it's not. It is hard to reach your goals but i'm hoping these tips can help you.

Motivate

Motivation is one of those things that you either have that particular day or you don't. Its hard to work without it as you will most likely just sit there and not want to get anything done. You do have to be strict on yourselves as most of the time there will be no one there to help motivate you. You have to do it. You have to sit yourself down and as crazy as it may sound, talk to yourself. Tell yourself that you are going to work hard because you know that in the end it will be worth it. You are going to strive to achieve with the best of your ability. You are going to get up of your ass (and yes ass not butt!) and you are going to work. Dedication pays of. All you can do in life is try your best. So don't leave your work to last minute, do it now because sometimes 'later' becomes 'never'. As Shia Labeouf said (or more screamed) JUST DO IT! YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMORROW! JUST DO IT!

Set deadlines

Procrastination is the thief of time. If you have a big science project due next month don't leave it until the night before. Set deadlines each week of what you should've had done for that project. You have to plan your time and you have to stick to that plan. Deadlines will motivate you, especially if you have consequences for not reaching those deadlines.

Set consequences and rewards for your actions

One thing that most of us will never miss when we leave school is the sanction policies. Right from the start of our lives we are taught right from wrong using sanctions and rewards. When you are younger this is usually having extra play time or being put on the 'naughty step' (time out). As you get older you don't really get rewarded except for praise or merits which are pretty useless. However you know that you would rather get them then the sanctions which include loss of privileges, isolation. But that's easier said then done as when you're at home its not easy to sanction yourself, but it is extremely easy to reward yourself. You don't have a teacher screaming threats at you, you just have yourself. Rewarding yourself is easy: buy something you want, go out with your friends, watch a film. On the other hand punishing yourself is hard. The easiest way would be your parents as they can ground you if you haven't done your homework or confiscate your phone if you are too busy on snapchat and not revising. So what you have to do is take over your parents role and do those things to yourself. In one sense you have to be that teacher who will give you a detention if you haven't done your homework. You need to unplug technology, put them in another room. You have to tell your friends you cant go out until you have finished your work.

Reaching your goals is hard. You have to be harsh in order to succeed. It will be a rough time but you will be so, so grateful once you have achieved it. Have belief in yourself and work your socks of. We will be victorious, and we will thrive to be the best versions of ourselves. Last of all if you don't do that homework of yours, you will have me to deal with!

You can do it guys.

Love,
Scarlett x

Sunday 3 April 2016

Religious revision hacks

Howdy there!

Religious studies is one of those subjects where you can sort of slack on the revision. I don't recommend you not revising at all because you do need to revise for it but you don't need to revise all that much. Most people aren't all that sure how to revise for religious and I have to admit for a while I wasn't sure either. However I have managed to figure it out and I am going to share how I revise with you guys. I take AQA Religious B.

1. Flashcards

You will see a theme going on with how I revise but it does vary for each different subject. Flashcards are a lifesaver! You can write keywords on one side and definitions or you can write down different religious quotes.



For religious it often gives you a key word as a one mark question and you have to write down the meaning of that key word. Also it's good to learn key words for all the questions as you can get extra marks for it. For six mark questions you need to include a quote in order to get more than 3 marks I think.

2. How to correctly answer the questions

In Religious the highest marks you can get for one particular question is 6. Here is a sheet that we got given which just gives you a run through of how to answer the different questions.


My religious teacher taught my class DREARER to answer the 6 mark question and I swear by it. If you include all of the points in DREARER correctly you can quite easily get 6 marks.
D: Why some people may disagree with the statement
R: Reason
E: Explain that reason
A: Why some people may agree with that statement
R: Reason
E: Explain that reason
R: Religious point of view (include a religious quote)

4. Use colour and make your book express your creativity

Okay I use colour at every chance I can get. By expressing your creativity in your work you will be more likely to remember it. Draw diagrams and pictures about the topics. Make a title page at the start of each topic.



Whilst you are watching a documentary go back and highlight your work. Just as long as you aren't writing anything rude or something against the rules you are fine. Also I don't suggest graffiti, I know it helps some people concentrate but do it on a separate piece of paper or the back of your book. Tidy notes will help you remember better and graffiti will most likely get you in trouble. I have had teachers in the past who have ripped out pages in students books and made them rewrite it because it has graffiti in.

5. Actually look back at your old books


There are many subjects, like Maths for example, that I never bother looking back through my text books at. In religious you learn everything you need to know in class so if you make good notes you don't need to purchase a revision guide. My old books are so useful! Currently I am on my third book, I used one book for paper one and two books for paper 2 (the books for paper 2 are smaller). Our teacher doesn't let us take our books home as she thinks we will loose them so the one I am working in at the moment has to stay at school.



Anyway back to the point I do have a revision book for paper one of religious but that is just because my friend gave it me. Honestly though I don't recommend buying one. Our teacher gives us print outs going over each topic anyway. Also yes it does annoy me that there is a massive seven on the front of the book, but my friend got the book from school.


6. Mindmaps

I'm not going to say much about mindmaps because I'm sure you're fed up of me speaking about them. But they're just so useful as they get everything in the same place. You can be bright and colourful or black and white as you want on them. You make them exactly the way that benefits YOU.

7. Past papers

I've saved the most important to last. It's good knowing your stuff but if you don't do practice papers under timed conditions then you are sort of screwed.


You can find mark schemes online so you can mark your answers and see how to improve. They give you an idea of what grade you would get. Also they show up things that you might not of spotted. Say you don't put keywords into your answers it allows you to realize that so that you can do it in the real exam.

Sorry this has been so long, I just had a lot to say! Good luck on your exams if you are taking them.

Love,
Scarlett x