Monday, 27 June 2016

Finishing my GCSEs


Two years of studying for GCSEs are done. The constant work, the lack of free time, the Procrastionation that allowed me to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in 30 minutes is finally over!

I'm free!

I'm writing this today as I am 5 days into my summer holidays. I am so glad I never have to go back. Yes I will miss school, for the most part of 4 years I actually liked the place. It was only the last year and the times when my depression was really bad that I hated it. I never missed a day of school. For those whole 5 years I went in every single day. No matter how ill I was, mentally or physically, I went in which I guess is the crappy part of anxiety (not all of its bad). I needed that time of because it got to the point where I would leave every single lesson in a day and go to the toilets and cry. It was hard but I'm proud to say that I came out the other end. I did it.

So I am back here on my blog after however long it has been and I can honestly say that I have missed this so much. I have missed writing whatever is on my mind and putting it out there for the whole world to see. Yes not that many people see it but the fact is I'm not afraid for light to be shone on people's problems.

I hated every minute of doing my GCSEs, I hated the dissapointment it bought upon myself and I hated how I had to put working before my health, even though I was extremely ill. Teachers always tell you these stories of people who have pushed themselves too far and have worn themselves dry or got ill, I never believed it, not until it happened to me.

After I have been through this myself all I have to say is you don't have to work every minute of every day. You don't have to feel guilty to have an hour of, a day of, you deserve it once in a while. Just don't give that as an excuse for all the time. You do need to work, but no more than 6 hours overall in a day, even that may be too much for some people. Don't do what I did and not rest until I had done 8 hours because you will get to the point where, like me, you can't even stand up anymore. All you need to do is try your best with the preparation you have done. Don't regret anything that has happened to you in the past. If you believe in something than you can achieve it, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

As for now all I have to say is the bitter sweet summer holidays have started early for us in year 11. For the first time in years we literally have nothing to do. But I'm not going to waste it. I want to draw, to paint, I want to meet up with my friends every single week and I want to make stupid videos. I want to make memories and take photos and I want to remember all the times I was happy, not the times I was sad.

Thanks for sticking with me through the tough times

Scarlett x