Tuesday 31 March 2015

The Furry Friends Tag

Hi,

I know the title of the video sound a bit childish but that's what the tag is called.
I fancied doing a tag as I haven't done one for a while and it's about pets and I love my pets so this one seemed like a good choice.

The Questions:

1. What is your pets name?

Scruffy, Sam and Phil

 2. What kind of pet is it and what breed?

All cats

 3. How long have you had your pet friend?

Phil we have had for about half a year, we have had Sam for 3years and we have had scruffy for like 8years or something.

 4. How did you get your pet?

Well all of them we rehomed. Scruffy was stray and he used to sit on my shed in the snow so my mom brought him in out of the warm and now he is fluffy, fat and happy. Sam we were asked to home by my Granddad because his owners didn't look after him very well. Then Phil was a baby and she, her mom and her brothers/ sisters lived outside but they weren't looked after and the owners didn't look after them nicely at all.

 5. How old is your pet?

Phil is nearly a year old. Sam is 4ish and I would that Scruffy is from 9+ but we aren't sure because we don't know how old he was when we got him.

 6. What are some quirky things about your pets personality?

Well Sam will Sit! I trained him to sit because I wanted to see if a cat would sit and he does so that's quite cool. Scruffy does this weird chicken thing when you scratch his back where basically he makes chicken noises! Phil likes looking really cute so you go to stroke her and then she attacks you XD

 7. What does your relationship with your pet mean to you?

I love my cats so much. Whenever I'm upset it's like Scruffy knows and he comes and sits with me and if I'm in pain he will come to me and usually lie pressed against my leg and purr and it really calms me down. Sam gets worried when I'm upset but usually stays away and watches but he likes having hugs. Then Phil is always so cute and when I'm alone she comes and has a fuss and it's so cute :3

 8. What are some of your favourite past times with your pet?

Well they are cats so it's not like we do many things together really. But I just like it when they are happy and want you to love them so they are purring and rubbing around you and stuff like that.

 9. What are nicknames that you call your pet?

Scruff, Sammy, and baby or liccle one


I hope you don't mind that I did a tag but thank you for reading and goodbyeeee x

Love, Scarlett x

Tuesday 24 March 2015

Feelings ruin your life- Short story | Part 1

I'm sorry I constantly want to talk to you. I'm sorry that when you take a long time to reply, I get sad. I'm sorry that I say things that annoy you. I'm sorry if you don't like me as much as I like you. I'm sorry if I think about you too long and too often. I'm sorry if I tell you about my pointless drama when you don't really care. I'm sorry if I seem clingy, I just really miss you.

Before pressing send I stop and realise, I cant send this and through my gritted teeth I delete the message. Sometimes I wish I could stand up to him instead of apparently only existing when he needs something from me. It irritates me so much that I seem like a bit of rubbish in the gutter to him but to me he seems like a drug, addictive. When I'm with him everything sad seems to disappear, all the  bad things in life get fixed and he saves me. He saves me from myself.

That's the thing about being depressed. You wait for someone else to come and make it all better. Which is what Felix does to me. He makes me whole again, he fills up the empty space inside and just like antidepressants he makes me smile again. Which is what I'm doing right now.

You asked me the truth, well the truth is that I like you. A lot. You make me happy, you make me smile. You're smart and different from the rest, you're crazy and always up for a laugh. You're awkward and its when you smile that you make my day. I'm obsessed with you and how you only have a dimple in one cheek and how I can disappear into your eyes. This is the truth Felix, I really hope that you feel this way about me too.

That was before I realised I had clicked send... "No! Stupid, stupid, stupid argh! I'm so stupid!" I scream realising that my life is over. I might as well just shoot myself right now and get it over and done with. He's going to get the message and he's going to show everyone so I will have to lie by saying I didn't send it. The only way to get out of this is not going into school until they would of forgot about it, which is never! Maybe I could transfer schools, tell my mom that I'm getting bullied. That would never work, "Why are you so stupid!" I exclaim hitting my palm of my forehead as I realize I'm going to have to face everyone at school. It's only when my phone beeps confirming a message that I stop, I pick up my phone and with my hands shaking I open the message.

We are all a little weird he replies. Oh that sounds amazing doesn't it, lets read on and see how he rejects me. and life's a little weird too. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them in mutual weirdness and call it love. See I knew it, he would never like me what was I thinking? More importantly, what does that message mean. I'm about to turn of my phone and decide different ways I could die when another message is received. You're so cute: I mean it's not only your looks which are cute it's your personality too. It's the things you say, your voice, your smile, the way you at me, your company. I like talking to you. No I LOVE talking to you! I love how we can be talking and you will fall asleep in the middle of our conversation because you have stayed awake so long just to talk to me. Even though you can be really weird I wouldn't want you any better because you're perfect the way you are.

Well... I guess I don't need to kill myself because he's just done it for me!

Tuesday 17 March 2015

The butterfly project- Being normal

Hello,

There's a difference between being  a normal person and being a normal human being.

When you are a normal person you are the way society wants to be. This usually means you follow the stereotypes of that generation, you are friends with the 'right' people, good looking and everything that the beloved, popular people expect you to be. So if you are anything out of their expectations you are not normal. But most of us peasants (as the seem to think we are) don't really care if we are this type of normal after a while as normal is just a word made up by society.

But then their is being classed as a normal human being. This can sometimes be when you are the way that the majority of people are but usually it is not having any impurities. But if this is true then there are only a small minority of people who are actually normal human beings yet people try to hide the things that make them different as they are scared to be mocked or bullied for it. If you have an enemy or say you're just not that popular at school people will try to pick on you for your impurities and that's just life I'm afraid. I'm not saying that it doesn't hurt but they will keep doing it as long as you show that it hurts your feelings, believe me I'm not just saying that, I know.

I understand this feeling as I have been told many times that I am not a normal human being or as I am more commonly referred to a disease. It does hurt knowing that something you were born with, that you suffer the pain of 24/7 is something others like to take the mic out of.

For me I have been through times where I have thought of self-harm and suicide because of the way I am (even though I have never tried either). Whenever I have my arms uncovered or my legs I feel like everyone is judging me, I feel like they are all talking about me and I honestly loose the will to do anything that will attract attention to myself. Even walking past someone talking is extremely hard. I did learn to live with the words and they did reduce but even now I'm would rather be too hot then take of my cardigan or wear shorts. I do wish I was different and a lot of the time I think  'I'm sick of being me' so I have started the butterfly project you may of heard of it.

 
I know you may not think this will make a difference but neither did I until the other day when I had the horrid thoughts again and I thought draw don't cut. So I took a pen (I used tattoo pens from poundland) and I drew a butterfly on my wrist. However it didn't stop there. I didn't just draw a butterfly I drew anything that I imagined to do and then every time I saw my wrist it made me smile and I was proud of myself. Now I wear the words 'stay strong' on my wrists so every time I feel like giving up I have some help to keep carrying on.

You are not alone in this world. No matter how many times you feel ignored or lost you will always have one person to talk to. If you don't feel comfortable talking about this stuff to your friends (it's okay, I don't either!) then try to find someone at your school, collage etc. If you don't trust anyone their then contact an agony aunt online. If you still aren't comfortable with it write down your emotions whenever you feel down so one day when you feel confident enough to tell someone you can.

I've wanted to talk about this for a long time so thank you for reading.

Love, Scarlett x

picture-http://nsa33.casimages.com/img/2013/04/11/130411112056286402.jpg

Tuesday 3 March 2015

Holding on to emotions.

Hello people of the world.

Lately I've been getting emotional, a lot. I don't know whether it's to do with hormones or the fact that I'm just not doing the things that make me smile anymore. I may seem sensitive but yet many times I have been told that I'm strong, which I guess I am.

When you have been able to hold up so much hurt inside I think that makes you strong. When you have to go through every single day hiding your emotions from everyone and anyone. When you are able to smile when really inside your cryingThat is when you are strong.

I know that I'm sensitive, so many things hurt my feelings, just somebody looking at me can knock my self esteem, but yet I have been told that I am strong.

To me, strength means to bounce back emotionally when the emotions don't deserve your attention anymore, to take care of loved ones at your own expense, to fight against laziness and weakness, to endure enormous emotional or physical pain.
Everyone is different in the way they hold on to their emotions. Some people (like me) hold them up inside and when it gets really tough they still cant cry, no matter how much they want to, it's like you are unable to shed tears from your mental pain. Others will cry at a single bit of emotional pain to get it out of the way and to get rid of the ache of hurt inside.

Sometimes I wish I could just cry. As the few times I have cried for mental/ emotional pain I have felt so much better after, as usually after I cry I sleep for a few hours and it seems like all the hurt has been washed away.

If you have read the book Paper Towns by John Green then you will know where I got this from.        


When you hurt so much it feels like there is nothing left inside. It feels as if the strings holding you up, have all been broken.

It's hard holding on to emotions as it makes every single day a struggle. But you've got to keep focused on your life because if you spend too much time on one little thing like your emotions then your whole life will be lost.

 
Bye for now,
 
Scarlett x
(P.S. I'm 15 in 2days (my birthday is the 5th March!))