DIY revision hacks

Heyyy,

Revision is one of those things which you never truly know how to do it correctly. In England most of the schools are back in (pray for me) so let's kick start a new year. I want to be on my revision game this year as to do the best I can in my GCSEs. I thought I would make this post to not only remind myself but also to help you guys. These tips are what I find useful so let's hope you do too!

Plan ahead
List your assignments/ due dates as soon as you find them out. Then decide a date of when to start working on it and a date of when you want it done by. This should ensure that you get your homework and revision completed in time. I know revision and doing homework may not seem 'cool' but doing it is going to benefit you're grades and it will teach you to be prepared for later life.

Make lists
To do lists were literally my holy grail last year. I would get home every day and write down everything I wanted and needed to do that night. Then I would highlight the things that had to be done by the next day and make sure to do them first. After that I would do all of the other things. Then I will do any other revision I can depending on how tired I am or how much work I have down. I know this sounds like it's a lot of work but it will be worth it in the end when I get the grades which make I am proud of.

Take breaks
I know you may want to spend every minute of the day before your exam revising but that will not benefit you in a good way. You have to allow yourself to have breaks in order for your brain to function correctly. I would work for about 45minutes and then have a break. You have to discipline yourself. You can spend your whole day binging a season of vampire diaries but when it gets near to exam time you need to limit those episodes. Watch one or two but then do one or two hours of revision. If you are finding it really hard to revise then for every one page you read or write then let yourself have a five minute break, say a YouTube video or something. Then you can do 6pages and you will have half an hours worth of break which you have built up. Set yourself realistic goals and realistic breaks.

Reward yourself for your achievements
Did you just take a final exam? Then celebrate in whatever way you want to. When I had my final Spanish exam me and my friend hung out together and watched films and danced a hella lot! However your goals don't just need to be for big things they can be for the little things. Say you followed your revision timetable for the first day ever then reward yourself. Stop revising half an hour earlier and just chill. Set yourself small goals as well as large goals and reward yourself for all of them. This will encourage you to work harder. You're achievements however big or small are still things you have acomplished and you should celebrate that.

I hope this has been helpful to you people and just writing it has been useful for me. If you have any other tips then just tell me and I proborbly write another blog post.

Thanks for reading!

Love,
Scarlett x

Finding my suicide note

Last year I tried to kill myself. I had been planning my suicide for months. I had decided how I was going to do it and where. It was only a matter of time until when. I have wanted to commit suicide many times during the last three years. I am not ashamed to admit that as it is my past and I survived it. I shouldn't be ashamed of my past as everything happens for a reason and one day my life will fall into shape (if that makes sense!). However this time was different I was so certain on every aspect of what I as going to do. I had began having mental breakdowns at school where I would fall to the ground screaming, but yet there was 'nothing wrong with me' and there still is 'nothing wrong with me'. What a lot of (mind the language) bull shit that is.

Today I got in the mood to tidy my room. My environment was too messy and cluttered, it was making me feel even more down than I already felt. I began pulling out the things underneath my bed and I found this notebook. As soon as I saw it I knew what it was. My suicide notes. I had wrote the names of all the people I wanted to write to on each page but over half of them were not filled in. I had tried to kill my self before it was finished. I had however wrote a few things to a few people in there. I had actually only wrote things for two people: my little sister (well she was my best friend but we call each other sisters) and my best school friend at the time.

For my sister I had only wrote four lines. They were saying things about how I had never had a sister but I didn't need one as I had her. It was saying that she was my best friend and when she left she took half my heart. For my best school friend I wrote a lot. I wrote 1 and a half pages. I am going to write exactly what I wrote to her as it has made me realise how much friends mean to you and how having people around you can make so much difference. It did make me cry reading this as it has made me know that I should value what I have got more as I have got so much more than I say.

'Occasionally we fight, occasionally we argue yet you were always the person who made me smile. You stuck by my side and didn't tell anyone what I was going through. I may not of been able to give you much but I gave you my trust. You didn't steal it, you didn't test it, you didn't loose it. You kept it, you kept my trust. Not many people have done that. You were the first person to ever notice something was wrong. I had built my walls so high over this last year but they all came crumbling down to you. I'm as fragile as a piece of glass but I have to pretend to be as strong as concrete. I have to smile when I want to cry, put others first. To them I'm normal, they don't know I have problems and if they do my problems don't matter. With you that's different. You are about me. I've not told anyone this but I guess you need to know, I've tried to kill myself many times. To me my life isn't worth living and I really hope God will forgive me and understand. If you are reading this then I've finally achieved it, I'm gone. Thank you for treating me as equal, thank you for always finding a way to make me smile. To me you are amazing: you're talented, you're beautiful and you have an ideal body. It hurts me to know you're sad and please don't be sad over me. Thank you for giving me the power to last another day. Stay strong. I love you so much. Goodbye.'

Its hard for me to say anything after writing that up but I needed to share this. I needed to say no matter how hard it may seem you can get through this. Every single day that you wake up is a new start. For me every day is a miracle because I know how close I have come to ending it all and not waking up for another day. That day I phoned Childline right before I was going to kill myself and they were the only reason I am still alive today.

I am thankful for what I have. I may be suffering with a sadness which is so painful but I will keep right on until the end of the road.

Scarlett x

Looking back on 2015

Hi

The end of 2015 is fast approaching and I don't know why but I am sad about that. I want these Christmas holiday to never end as I'm really not in the mood to go back to school. Anyway enough of that, 2016 is going to come and I just have to deal with that one step at a time.

Last year I made three resolutions. The first one was to never give up... This year I tried to kill myself and that sort of spells out that I gave up. I feel so ashamed of this now but it was in the past and hopefully this time I will learn from it.

The second was to get fit. This I did achieve as this year I did my duke of Edinburgh practices and the final. Also I took up Thai boxing (which I hated).

The last resolution I made last year was to do more things that make me happy. I'm not sure if I achieved this as for some parts of the year I pushed away anything and anyone as I was so intent on not living that I didn't want sympathy. On the contrary I have also spent more time with friends, tomorrow I am having my first friend come properly around my house. I have smiled and laughed a lot more. I have made a fool of myself, which I love. There are more positive factors than negative factors so if this is like maths then the positives have outweighed the negatives therefore meaning I was successful with this.

This year i have done a lot of things for the first time. I have sat a mock examination not knowing one thing. Even though I truly expected to fail I still tried my best and made sure to answer all the questions. I put myself in that situation and I understood that there would be consequences to it. However I tried my best and that's all I could of done. I couldn't go back and change it. I will be going to my first party this year. I have crossed over my boundries of my comfort zone and it made me realise that I could do more things than I fought. This year I have learnt so many valueble experiences. I have learnt the value of a true friendship. This year I found my true friends, the people who I would do anything for and who would do anything for me. I have finished all my Spanish and science coursework. I have learnt to be able to confide in people and not to keep my feelings in.

This year may of been bad but I have had some amazing experiences. I hope your 2015 has been a good one. If it hasn't then make a change so that your 2016 is different.

Scarlett x

New Years resolutions - My goals for 2016

Happy New Year!

Like last year I have made a few resolutions for things which I would like to achieve this year. I do not think I will be able to achieve everyone of these resolutions however I will give it my best shot.

Exercise more

In 2015 I did begin to exercise a lot more than I previously had. However what I was doing to exercise was not enjoyable to me and therefore I did not try. I want to begin playing Just dance, jogging, doing push ups and star jumps twice a week at least. As it will be my decision to choose what I want to do I can alter what I want to do to fit the weather and my mood. Even if I only spend 5-10 minutes doing it that is still a good start.

Follow my revision timetable

Last year I slacked and did not try with revision much. I wouldn't follow my revision timetable which meant when I was revising, which wasn't as often as I needed to be, I was doing what I wanted to do not what I needed to do. I am taking my actual GCSE exams this year and I want to pass them all. I want to put in so much effort and make it count because then when I get my results back I will know that I tried my hardest.

Stop being afraid

This year I want to face my fears. I want to visit the London Bridge which has a glass floor and walk over it as I am afraid of heights. However I do not just want to face my fears I want to not let my every day anxieties get to me. I want to be prepared in order to be less stressed. I want to do the things I want to do and not refrain because I am afraid of what others think of me. I want to be truly open about my feelings as that will be the way I can work around them. I want to wear what I want in order to make me less ashamed of the person I am. I want to make school worthwhile and I also want to be prepared straight away from college.

Become more happy
Now I'm not sure how I am going to achieve this one but I am just going to take it one step at a time. I am going to surround myself by the things and the people which make me happy. I had already began doing it last year (seems weird to say as I am writing this in 2015 and this is going up in 2016) and it feels so much better. If I start feeling sad, whatever I am doing, I will go and do something which will make me feel better. If I am in class I will either ask to leave or tell someone around me I am feeling bad. If I don't do either of them I will draw or simply highlight my work to try and distract myself.

There are obviously other things which I would like to achieve in 2016 however these are just some of the main outlying ones.

Thank you for the pride you guys have gave me throughout this year when I have turned on my account and be overwhelmed at the response. Thank you for the comments and advice which people have been leaving. Most of all thank you for giving me a space where I can let out all of my feelings however big or small. I never expected to get such an emotional connection towards my blog but it truly makes me so happy and accomplished whenever I post. When I am writing this post I have 935 views on my blog. That's 935 times my blog has been clicked on and viewed. Whether it was by mistake or not it means so much to me.

Thank you for 2015, I hope yours has been a good one.

2016, bring it on!

Scarlett x