Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Not so 'bad' habits turns into serious conversations.

Hi guys,

So one of the things I like doing (when I'm not doing anything which isn't often) I have this really bad habit of writing really random stories about really random things. These are usually sparked by something I've read or seen.

So today you lucky people I am going to be sharing one with you. Yay!

I have honestly got to say that it isn't very good and that it is short but I really wanted to write a story and I needed to write another blog so I just thought let them read my story! (I would also like to say that it inspired by The Fault In Our Stars as I watched the film again yesterday, and yes again I cried.) If you go through anything in this story or you would like to talk them comment below and I'm always here to discuss anything with you.

Before you read it I would just like to say that it talks about Cancer, I felt that I wanted to write about this on my blog as I myself and my friends and no doubt others have someone in there family who has Cancer. A few years ago my friend lost her step dad to the disease and it was awful. Rest in Peace all the people we have lost and together we can beat it. As today as many people survive cancer as who die from it and with the research is improving and soon there will hopefully be a cure. I would like to dedicate this story to my auntie Mary, my friends step dad, my nan and Adam's best friend. Thank you for giving me a safe environment where I can post this, I am forever grateful.

You can't see the rainbow without the rain

There's a lot of things in life that scare you. The fear of growing old, the fear of being bullied, the fear of loosing a loved one, but for me my fear is not waking up in the morning.

One of the worst things that can happen in life is being told that you have Cancer. But the worst thing is having a kid that has Cancer, that really sucks. It feels like your whole life has been tipped away and that this is your last chance at life.

I know my parents wish it could be then because it hurt them more than it hurt me when I go in for a scan and the doctors told us that there is nothing they can do. When they said that my whole body was made up of tumours. When I got told that I only have 6weeks to live, I know that they are suffering inside and that instead of living all they will do is count down the days.

Now I only have one week left...

Nobody seems to notice how much everything changes. How every single second something is changing, you are growing older. How there is not one time where everybody is asleep, probably not even on your road. But I notice these things now. I am not one of these Londoners who are too busy rushing around that they aren't noticing the things that make life wonderful. The sun setting between the skyscrapers and then rising again in the morning. The haze of mist that covers the city at night but only occasionally clears to a star spotted sky. They don't notice the things that they noticed when they first moved here; the London eye and Buckingham palace all seem like a normal place to them. In some ways I am glad that I only have a short time left, I get the chance to experience these things again and feel like I felt the first time I moved to London, happy. I'm not scared of what is going to happen I would just like a little more time.

When I first got told how long I had left my mother asked me "what do you want to do Melody, we can pay anything to make the most of how long you have" but I didn't ask for anything I just wanted to do the things that make me happy and appreciate the world the way it is. I went round to my friends and family and told them how much I love them and I even wrote a will making sure not to leave anyone out. This was the last week of my life and I wanted to make it count.

So I'm sitting staring across the Thames River, with my scrapbook in my hand. I'm writing down all my memories and sticking down all the photos I have for something to remember me by. In the back I have a diary that I have been writing ever since I got diagnosed and that nobody knows about, but I feel that it's right to give it to them, so they know how I really thought. I have folded the corner of a page that I find really interesting and it was wrote over a year ago. In that entry I have wrote "It's funny, when I was younger I was told 'if you ever feel alone just focus on your breath as it will always be there for you' but one day it's not going to be there, I will be all alone, and that will be the very thing that kills me."

End of part 1.

Thank you for reading my short story. If you would like me to write another part please tell me somehow.

Scarlett x

Never forgetting those we have lost

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