DISCLAIMER: This blog is a bit miss match as I just typed it straight out of my brain while extremely stressed so the parts wont link up and it is not interesting looking as I just want to make a point.
So in English at school we are doing about Gender, and things like equality and stereotypes and whether men can wear women's clothes etc. We read this blog by Jonathon Reed and I just had to share it with you. For a while now I have been wanting to write a post on self confidence and I guess now is the time.
One of my best friends, who is going through so much in her life but yet always has the time for me came out and bravely told me that she was Bi. This hasn't made one difference at all to our friendship and I don't think I've ever had to stop and think 'wait she's bi' because it makes no difference to me. At the start of this school year my friend told me that he was gay, and yet I could not be any happier. The fact that he was brave enough to tell everyone at our school and yet still be the funny, amazing and FABULOUS friend that he has always been is something I wouldn't have the nerve to do.
Society is a mean place, you will only be popular if you are pretty and the older generation don't seem to understand that. I wish it was back at the times where people liked you for your personality not the way you look.
As I live in England we have to wear uniform to school 'to look like a team' or as we like to refer it as 'Prison clothes'. School relates to prison a lot if you think about it, the tough ones who smoke hidden behind the bushes in the playground, the ones who are just not meant to be there and the ones who are enjoying there time way too much. Anyway when we have non-uniform days it is so stressful, I am up all night worrying that people will judge my clothes choice, but why should I have to worry?
I choose the clothes I want to wear because I like them and they may not be in fashion but why should other people have the right to mock you for the clothes that you want to wear- the clothes that make you happy.
I went through about a year of depression because I was so scared of society and now I'm starting to come out of it. Yes I still get times when I cry myself to sleep wishing that I looked different or that I was normal like everyone else. Yes I still get the odd days where I feel sick at the thought of getting up and going to school. Yes I still have anxiety and still get panic attacks. And Yes I am still scared of society. But it's getting a lot better ever since I did this one simple thing:
You know the time when you look in the mirror and you think 'Hey! My hair isn't actually that bad today' or 'I actually look pretty' or someone gives you a compliment. DONT automatically replace it with a negative thought smile and agree. It makes you feel so much better, even if it's only for five minutes.
So ask yourself this, what difference does it make if you are gay, bi, lesbian or straight? None, at all. I know it's hard to feel happy with yourself when society will judge you for every little thing but don't let them do that to you. Wear whatever clothes you want. If you want to paint your nails rainbow colours go for it, it doesn't make any difference if you are a girl or boy. BE WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BE, the thing is there will always be someone who will accept you for being YOURSELF and they will not leave you or not stop being your friend.
I will probably write another blog on self confidence as this blog is a bit of a mess. Sorry about that.
Thanx for reading anyway.
Bye for now, Scarlett
Jonathon Reed's blog post