Having my first exam

Hi guys,

As I am in year 10 it is getting to the time of exams. Oh joy.

You get stressed, your teachers set you loads of homework and all your free time is spend preparing for the exam. But yet all you get is a piece of paper at the end. A piece of paper that will determine your whole life. You cant re take them, the decisions that you make at 14-16 will influence whether you are wealthy, poor, have a good job, or a bad.

I had my first exam today, on the 4th of February and I'm 14years old. I didn't really think about the fact that it would count 12.5% towards my final grade, I wasn't scared, until sitting in the crowded hall and I was writing. Suddenly it sunk in, I realised that if I didn't do well it would affect my whole life. I started sweating, my eyes started burning, my chest heaving and I couldn't breathe, I was having a panic attack.

All I wanted to do was walk out of that room and cry, but I couldn't. I carried on writing, until the last second when we were told to put our pens down. I was relieved but so nervous, I had done all I could do now. It was all over.

It's scary to realise that this time next year I will be in my last term of school. It's so scary. I don't want to leave, finally after 3 and a half years I feel okay with the people there and not too long from now I will have to start afresh.

I know that I am going to cry when I leave because even though I hate school, I love it too. Yes there will be hard times to come and I know I will have to put in so much effort, but it's not the end of the world if you do bad. As long as you tried as hard as you can you know you have made yourself proud.

If I get a C in this exam I will be over the moon, I know that I put in the time and effort and I will be proud. However I also know I will be disappointed as everyone is so smart.

I guess that's life

Scarlett x