Thursday, 11 February 2016

My experience with bullying

Hey,

Many kids are bullied during school. I had got of lucky in Primary School, my school was a nice school and there was only one boy who used to pick on me every single day. In primary school I didn't have any friends but he was the only person who was mean to me, everyone else would just ask me to play with them. When I look back at how he treated me he did bully me but at the time I didn't take it to heart.

It was when I started secondary school I began being bullied. I was a little year 7 of 11 or 12 years when all hell strook loose. I made friends with this bunch of girls but it was obvious from the start that they didn't like me. They would always ignore me and try to spend as much time with me as possible. When around me they would whisper loudly remarks about me. They would run away from me. I would walk up to them and they would shout "look its her, the girl with gross skin" and then run of screaming. The thing is for me yes they called me ugly but that didn't upset me that much as at the time I didn't understand what was pretty and what was not. What upset me was that they picked on me for my skin. I could never change my skin and that was something I had to live with every day. I had so many sleepless nights because of the pain it caused me. I would scream in agony from it. Some days I would be unable to bend my legs and walk properly. Others my skin would be so ripped apart I would have to cover it in calamine lotion and jumpers even if it was summer. They had no right to pick on me, I couldn't help it. However that was the exact reason why they did it. I was an alien to them. They even turned my own twin brother against me. He wouldn't touch me, he wouldn't look at me or be in the same room as me. If I touched him he would run to the bathroom and wash his hands.

So I did the only thing I knew. I hid it. I wore trousers with long socks or tights underneath. I would wear skirts with tights in summer and if my knees were clear I would wear a skirt with knee high socks. I stopped being friends with them. I made friends with the only people who would except me. The people who didn't have any friends themselves. I made friends with every single person who sat alone and I bought them all together to form my friendship group. We were a group of rejects who had all formed together so that we were not alone. We became invisible to those in our year. I still heard people say things about my skin but it wasn't as bad. I wasn't friends with them, I was friends with the people who would never leave my side even if they created a horrible rumour about me. That's the thing about being a reject, you know what its like to be alone and have no one so you stick together, you stand up for each other. I didn't hear anyone talk about my skin for years until one day last year. I walked out of my physics exam and one of the PE teachers laughed at me and said to these girls "Of course she took triple science, she is a suck up with no friends and gross skin". I heard it but I didn't say anything. I just ignored it. But my heart didn't. I don't feel comfortable with any of my skin showing except my hands, head and neck.

If I hide it they cant hurt it. If I pretend it didn't upset me they wont say anything again. I pretended it didn't hurt me and then nothing else I have been said. That I know about anyway.

Bullying is wrong. You have to learn the where the line is between having a joke and being plain old mean. By pulling someone down you will never reach the top. Nobody has the right to define who you are. Be true to yourself because your opinion is the only one which matters. Once you let someone change the way you think of yourself it is hard to think any different. My thought of myself was changed nearly 6 years ago and it still upsets me every day that I cannot be confident in my body like I used to be.

Sticks and stones may break bones but words will leave bruises which will never fade. Think before you act. People have feelings, it isn't big to make others feel small.

Scarlett x

2 comments:

  1. I hide my skin too. It makes me feel a little bit more comfortable around others and my friends but I still feel nervous and take such a long time just looking in the mirror judging and checking that I look normal. It's not very nice when you have a skin condition. I kind of know what you feel like. ❤️

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    1. In the past when my eczema hasn't been bad I have been covering my self harm. Its hard always feeling like people are judging you but I know we can come out victorious

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