Dying my hair and my inspiration | Q & A

Hey guys!

Today I fancied doing a Q&A so I found some questions and I'm going to answer them for you!

1. Who is your celebrity crush?

I actually have many celebrity crushes. I have a lot of female crushes. When I say a lot, I mean a lot: zoella, cara delivigne, Taylor swift, Melanie Martinez, Lilly Singh, Grace Helvig and Selena Gomez. I told you that there was a lot! Male: RuPaul (or does he count as both as I love him both in and out of drag!), Ed Sheeran, all the members of 5SOS (especially Calum) and Jessarae!

2. What makeup product could you not live without?

I feel like concealer because you can cover any bad spots or redness which may make you feel self conscious and stuff. Like I have been out many times before with just concealer on.

3. Who is your inspiration?

My inspiration is actually a youtuber called Lilly Singh aka iisuperwomanii, you proborbly know who she is! For a very long time lilly was the only person who could make me smile. The way she thinks, her positivity, everything about her is just something I find so inspiring. She is a surviver of depression which really shows that you can get through it. Lilly really means something to me on a personal level that I find so hard to explain. She is not only so beautiful on the outside but she is extremely beautiful on the inside. I discovered her not long before I got told I was depressed and she was the first person who had made me smile in a while. She always relaxes me when I'm nervous and for the length of her video I can forget my problems.

4. Favourite show to binge watch on Netflix

This used to be pretty little liars and I would watch it so much that the little message would come up saying are you sure you want to continue watching where Netflix was like judging you. However ever since I finished that I have been binge watching RuPauls drag race. However now I've finished that aswell so I am watching videos related to it and everything. So I would have to say that Rupauls drag race is definately my favourite show to binge watch.

5. Favourite clothes shop?

100% primark because it's so affordable! I do also love new look which I feel like not many people talk about. I like primark prices but the clothes they have in new look!

6. What hair colour would you like to be?

I would like to have pastel pink hair but I'm not sure that it would suit me as I'm as pale as pale can be and naturally I have darkish brown hair. Preferably dip dye but my hair is too short for dip dye at the moment. I would also like to have maroon or burgundy hair which ombre's from a darker colour at the roots to a lighter colour at the bottom. I feel like that would suit me quite well as its still sort of dark and it looks good with your hair curly. My hair is naturally wavy so sometimes its hard to find a hair colour to suit me. As for a natural colour I would quite like to go a darker brown at some point. Not black but darker than my natural hair which is sort of milk chocolate brown colour.

7. Favourite bands?

Of course my favourite band is 5 seconds of summer, I've been a fan of them since 2013 and I love them so incredibly much! Every single one of their songs are amazing and all of the members are great, even though my personal FAVE is Calum Hood. Other bands I love are: Panic! At the disco, One direction (do they count?), go radio and twenty one pilots. Let's just say I have a very wide range of music taste

8. Who are your all time favourite singers?

ED SHEERAN ALL THE WAY! I am such a SHEERIO it is insane! I love Ed so much and I honestly think I would still love him just the same even if he did wrong. Ed's music hits me on such a personal level and it is one of the only things in the world which can make me cry (I literally never cry). I used to listen to Ed's music and get so into it that I would cry, and end up doing no work! Other singers I love so much are: Taylor Swift and Jessarae

9. What female youtuber would you like to be for a day?

In case you can't already guess, I would definitely have to be iisuperwomanii as I would just like to see what it's like for her in her daily life. I would also love to be Grace Helbig as she is so halerious!

10. What about male youtuber?

I actually quite struggled with this one as I don't watch many male youtubers. However I have racked my brain and realised that I can be Willam Belli for a day. Willam is a drag queen who was on season 4 of RuPaul's drag race. He was the only queen to get disqualified due to him breaking the rules. Willam posts videos on his YouTube channels including parodies of songs and a series called Paint me bitch where he gets people to give him a makeover. Damn would I love to have his/her confidence and it would be so much fun to be able to get in drag! Willam has a sense of humour that I feel like some people may find a bit offensive but he is so funny! He has also been in quite a lot of films including Sex and the city. I honestly think Willam would've won if she didn't break the rules as she is so talented.

11. If you could visit anywhere in the world where would you like to visit?

I don't know why but I've always wanted to go to New Zealand but it's really far so I most likely will never go there which is sad. However I would also like to go to Rome as I love all the culture and I would like to go to Amsterdam, maybe or maybe not because of TFIOS, as it's so pretty! I absolutely love pretty places and I want to visit them as Birmingham (where I live) is so ugly! On top of that Japan would just be so cool!

12. How do you deal with your anxiety and panic attacks?

As bad as it sounds, I avoid situations. I stay in the house, I don't travel alone, I make sure not to speak to people I don't know. I used to hide in the toilets so that I could get out of doing things I didn't feel comfortable doing at school. I really don't recommend doing this. You need to push yourself out of your comfort zones in order to get better. Personally though, I haven't managed to do that yet.

13. What is your favourite makeup brand?

Considering I am cheap af I would have to say that MUA and collection is my favourite brand! Like I love the concealer and powder from collection. From MUA I love their eyeshadows, highlighters and lipsticks. You don't need to spend loads of money to get the job done!

14. If you could be any celebrity for a day who would you be?

I would be Taylor Swift when she is on tour as it would be so amazing to experience that. Also not going to lie, she is so beautiful! Her talent and her looks are amazing, it would be so great to be in her shoes for a day!

15. Can you sing?

hahahahahaha NO. I am literally the most terrible singer in the world and it makes me so sad!

16. Have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend? 

Yeah, I have actually had both. I had a boyfriend in 2014, we got together on the 6th September and I ended the relationship as my anxiety got to my head too much. We are still good friends now and he has been with his current girlfriend for a year and a half. I couldn't be more happy for him. I had a girlfriend not long ago, which I also ended because again my mental health was too bad.

17. Biggest regret?

My biggest regret is that I let my anxiety get the best of me and stop me from doing the things I wanted to do. It's that I feel like I haven't lived my life to the full. It's that I didn't put myself out there more. I regret faking being okay, I regret not telling anyone that I wanted to commit suicide or getting help. I regret not getting a good relationship with my family. I have a lot of regrets but the things I didn't do have made me the person I am today. They have made me realize that I should try my hardest to live my life to the fullest.

18. Biggest success?

Plain and simple, my biggest success is being alive today. I have tried to end my life so much, I have been hopeless, I have given up and pushed those closest to me away. However somehow I managed to continue fighting. I survived all the suicide attempts because I wasn't ready to die. For the first time in a while I am thankful to be alive. I have someone close to me who I can trust with anything. I made my first promise in two years. I am proud of myself. I am not better. I am still extremely ill but for the first time in a while I am seeing the world in colour.

19. Do you prefer pizza or burgers?

PIZZAAAAA! I absolutely love pizza, my favourite is Hawaiian (ham and pineapple) which most people find so odd.

20. Dream wedding and dress?

YES I AM 16 AND I ALREADY KNOW THIS EVENTHOUGH I DON'T HAVE A PARTNER. Okay my dream wedding is in a church in the spring when there's blossom on the trees. I want there to be a lot of flowers there. My dream dress would have a little train, would most likely have sleeves incase my eczema is bad. It would be full length and I want it to have some lace on. I want it to have an open back and something flattering on the chest area. I want my hair up in one of those fancy buns with little flowers in and a veil.

Thanks for reading my Q & A,

Love you lots,

Scarlett xxx

Picture links: https://yt3.ggpht.com/-dDvEj5lMd9c/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/EULm0R9mEtk/s900-c-k-no-rj-c0xffffff/photo.jpg   http://www.readunwritten.com/wp-content/uploads/large5-1-300x258.jpg  http://31.media.tumblr.com/1fa834579941bc1b21411870b89e4e9a/tumblr_mt30ibOhdp1rdutw3o1_400.gif http://www.hercampus.com/sites/default/files/2015/11/30/taylor-swift-sparkly-tour-outfit-1989-main.jpg

Talking about my Mental Health / Don't diagnose yourself

Hey,

As you will know if you have read some of my past posts I really struggle with my mental health. I'm not sure when but sometime last month I got told I had depression. However ever since I got told it I just didn't think it was right. At first I thought that I just didn't want to believe it was true as it's hard to be told that you're depressed. I knew that there was something wrong with me in my emotions but I also knew it wasn't depression. I've looked up what I am feeling and I'm going to be visiting the doctor next week to see if what I think is true is true. I think I may be bipolar.

In no way am I saying I have bipolar disorder as I do not know that until I go to the doctors. I am making this post to say how important it is to be aware of how you feel.

This post is also to say how important it is that you do not diagnose yourself. If you think you have anxiety, depression or anything 'wrong' (you're perfect anyway) with you please talk to a professional. I did it through school as my school got in a therapist for me who diagnosed me. If you are afraid to talk to the doctor then write what you feel down and go someone you trust and see if they have any advice. You just have to be brave and put yourself first. Don't give a fuck what people think of you for once in your life and do something which will benefit YOU. This may be hard especially if, like me, you have anxiety. However you don't want it to get to the point where you cannot cope anymore and you will do anything to end it. Please get help before then. I don't want to see any of you be in the place I have been in where ambulances are phoned on me and I am threatened to be detained in hospital for my safety. As soon as you know something is up talk to someone, even if it turns up to be nothing it's better safe then sorry. Just like physical illnesses, mental illnesses can be treated better in the early stages.

If you need someone to talk to you can always talk to me. My Instagram DMs are always open for anyone to message: @scarlett_allthelittlethings

Love you,
Scarlett x

Happiness

Hey,

What is happiness? Happiness is the best thing to have in the world. It makes everything seem okay. Even when you are suffering you can still cling onto that hope of happiness. Happiness is that feeling when everything seems okay. It's when you catch yourself smiling at nothing and it's what you get like when watching your favorite film. Happiness is laughter and smiling but it's also long chats with your best friend.

Whatever you find happiness don't let anyone take that away from you. Pride yourself on it. So what if you feel happy playing chess, then go play chess. You get happiness from reading, then read! Do whatever you need in life to find happiness. A life lived to the full wasn't one where you spent all your time working and pretending to like things to fit in. A life lived to the full is a life where you can look at yourself in the mirror and know that you are truly happy.

Happiness is not in objects, its in yourself. If you feel happy after using makeup its because it has bought out the happiness from within you.

For me happiness is spending time with my friends. Its dancing like no one is watching. It's singing my heart out even if I am tone death. It's binging my favourite TV shows. It's imagining an idea in my head and then making that idea a reality. It's finishing a drawing I am proud of. It's listening to my favourite music. I am going to hang onto every bit of happiness I can find. I won't let my depression get the best of me and I am going to try to find happiness in every day.

Don't let anyone take away your happiness and don't take away anyone else's happiness. You tell someone they can't listen to a certain band when it may actually be the one thing that keeps them on this Earth.

Stay strong and you can still smile, no matter how deep into illness you are.

Love,
Scarlett xxx

What I miss about school

Hey,

Isn't it crazy thinking I've spent the last 13 years in school from the age of 3 until the age of 16 and not its all just suddenly over. I am never going to study in a school again. I am going to a college so at least I'll still be in education, but I know it wont be the same.

To be blatantly honest, I miss school. I miss the safety of it, I miss the routine and I miss knowing everyone. I miss the teachers I had made a good relationship with and I miss hating those who weren't all that nice. By the end of year 11 though all the teachers become really nice. They are so supportive and just want you to enjoy your last days at school. They will help you so much with exam preparation and when they see you after your exams they seem so immensely proud.

I went to a good school. Not good in the eyes of the government, I mean we failed ofstead, but compared to what I hear about other schools, ours is great. Our teachers are so creative in the ways they teach, they're so interesting and caring. My maths teacher for example would sit with me for ages helping me to get the gist of it. I was in top set so I was the only one most of the time who ever needed help but again and again he would ask me if I needed help and never think I was stupid. I'm glad my teachers knew about my mental illnesses as it meant they would know why I wouldn't write a thing, or keep my head down the whole lesson, or need to leave multiple times. They got me. Our teachers seemed insane at times. They would dance, they would swear and they would tell us the most unappropriate for school stories. But we needed that. We were 15-16year olds, some of us were old enough to have a child so they treated us like adults. I miss it like hell. I became dependent on those teachers. My history teacher, he knew that I would sit there with my head down all lesson. My English teacher, she knew that I lacked all faith in myself and she would tell me time and time again that she believed in me. My pastoral manager knew that I could never tell her how I felt so she got me to write it down or she just told me that she would be there for me. It finally became a time when people knew what I was like. Now I've got to do it ALL again.

http://www.searchquotes.com/sof/images/picture_quotes/31525_20130329_140333_appreciation_02.jpg

So I am going to list a few things which I will miss. Some of these things may still happen at college but I wanted to write this post now!

1. We had a 5 minute grace time which we had to get between lessons which was sort of stupid because one side of the school to the other takes like 4 minutes WITHOUT any people in the way! So imagine that but with everyone there. It was like a challenge that we had to do. Somehow though we would always decide it would be best to spend most of that time gossiping and then we would run to lesson. I'm going to miss that! It was always fun and I was always successful!
2. PE. Yes I did just say that! My PE teacher had literally no expectations on me at all. She used to allow me to sit away from the class on my own all lesson as she knew about my problems. In college all my lessons I'll have to actually try in. But PE we didn't get a GCSE from and I never had to do anything, so it was great for me as I could just chill!
3. Movie/ party days. This didn't really happen much in year 11 but in all the other years every single time before we had a holiday we would just spend the lessons watching films, having a class party or just talking and eating food. We wont have that in college!
4. I will miss my friends. I only have one friend out of school and all of the rest of my friends went to my school. Its going to be sad going to college in September and not having all my friends there

Have you guys left school? If so what do you miss? If not then enjoy it whilst it lasts. Treasure it. Don't always stick to the rules (but don't be too bad you get into serious trouble). Have fun! Don't take it too serious (unless you're in year 11!)

Love,

Scarlett xxx

Leavers assembly

Hey,

My school, being the weird ass school it is, holds a leavers assembly every year. This assembly is always after all of the exams are finished and when the year 11s have completely finished school. This may not seem weird but damn, its weird! Everyone goes in fancy dress, including the host and its so strange as its 9o'clock in the morning and everyone is dressed up. The assembly is filled with embarrassing photos and videos aswell as the host cracking a terribly bad joke every second.

We had awards dedicated to the best butt, a student stripper who ran down the hall with everything hanging out and a slut dropping teacher!

Me and three of my friends dressed as 5 seconds of summer in their music video Don't stop. I was Calum Hood aka Calpal so I got to wear the sexy colour of green and yellow! Gosh walking home was so embarrassing! Cars kept honking at us!

So this was on the 28th July, the day I officially left school!

Love,
Scarlett xxx

P.S. I'm really sorry for the bad quality of writing and sentence structure in this post, I really wanted to write but its turned out so shit! I'm a bit rusty, it's late and I'm not in a good mindset!

PROM

Hey my beautiful people (yes I'm talking to you!)

On Friday 24th July was my prom. At my school (and most school's in England) we only ever get one prom and that's at the end of year 11 after all of our exams are over. Also in England you don't get 'asked' to prom you can just go with whoever you want, some people even arrive on their own.

I went with my best friend (who is at least 5"7 and I'm just about 5") and we went in a fancy car which I think was a Mercedes.

Prom is meant to be the night when you feel like a princess but I honestly hated everything about the way I looked. I liked my dress but that was about it. I looked horrible in all the photos and I didn't really allow myself to enjoy it until about an hour before the end.

We could arrive between 7 and 8 but the actual party lasted from 8 until midnight. Prom was amazing and I would recommend you to go as once you allow yourself to unwind you will have fun.

I bought my dress from House of Frazer and it was around £60 in the sale. It was a midnight blue but in the photo it looks quite a lot brighter than it did in real life.

My dress

I did everything myself: my hair, my makeup and my nails. I would recommend you to get someone to do something but I managed alright on my own (apart from the stress). The reason I hated my look so much was my hair as I had it half up and half down as to be able to see the dress but it just didn't look that nice to be honest.

My advice is to plan and TEST everything in advance. You don't want to be rushing out to the shops the morning of prom like I did! I made a schedule of each timing when I needed to start and damn I thought I had gave myself too much time but I didn't even have enough time to take a selfie. So make sure you start at least half an hour before you were planning to. That half an hour really won't make much difference to the lasting time of your hair/ makeup.

Love,

Scarlett xxx